Got a call from my elder brother today. he is going to come here for another trip to try and sell the ancestral land we have. The news of his coming always depresses me. Because he has always bullied me since childhood. And I am the type who hates quarrels. It drains me of my energy which could be used elsewhere for something more positive work.
In fact this brother of mine is the one who psyched me into go in for engineering or medicine in college since they are more paying professions. he passed on his middle class Indian insecurity onto me. With disastrous results. I hate mathematics and pure science. I wasted my time and energy trying to secure admission in an engineering or medical college. It left me a wreck for the rest of my life. It gave me a inferiority complex as an bonus. And I did not take up further studies in arts, like politics and history which I have always loved since childhood.
Talk of brain-washing that is worse than Goebbels could have ever thought of! And what were my parents doing all this time, you may ask? My mother is an illiterate woman and knew nothing about academics. She was too small a woman to advise me to do what I liked. My father was too busy in his world to worry about the insecurities and confusion of a teenage son.
The Indian middle class is a sick institution in many ways. It boasts of having morals, which in reality they do not have. Hypocrisy is the norm. And the new India has lost all sense of value. I saw an old woman living in a flat opposite to where I live die alone. Her only son son lived in Dubai and was too busy making money to take care of an old woman. One of her daughters live in the city but she too did nothing. The kids and young men in the apartment complex used to laugh and taunt at the old woman. She was too sick to walk so she crawled about on the floor and yelled obscenities at the children playing cricket in the parking area. The children only used to laugh more.
When the woman fell too ill, her daughter put her in old age home run by Christian missionaries. The lady died three months later.
In fact this brother of mine is the one who psyched me into go in for engineering or medicine in college since they are more paying professions. he passed on his middle class Indian insecurity onto me. With disastrous results. I hate mathematics and pure science. I wasted my time and energy trying to secure admission in an engineering or medical college. It left me a wreck for the rest of my life. It gave me a inferiority complex as an bonus. And I did not take up further studies in arts, like politics and history which I have always loved since childhood.
Talk of brain-washing that is worse than Goebbels could have ever thought of! And what were my parents doing all this time, you may ask? My mother is an illiterate woman and knew nothing about academics. She was too small a woman to advise me to do what I liked. My father was too busy in his world to worry about the insecurities and confusion of a teenage son.
The Indian middle class is a sick institution in many ways. It boasts of having morals, which in reality they do not have. Hypocrisy is the norm. And the new India has lost all sense of value. I saw an old woman living in a flat opposite to where I live die alone. Her only son son lived in Dubai and was too busy making money to take care of an old woman. One of her daughters live in the city but she too did nothing. The kids and young men in the apartment complex used to laugh and taunt at the old woman. She was too sick to walk so she crawled about on the floor and yelled obscenities at the children playing cricket in the parking area. The children only used to laugh more.
When the woman fell too ill, her daughter put her in old age home run by Christian missionaries. The lady died three months later.
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